I intend to post the thoughts that occur to me. The normal everday thoughts such as "the weather is nice", the nice ones about the things I do which make me happy and the darker ones that I don't tell my friends in real life because I don't feel I can.
Published on June 18, 2004 By Exar Kuun In Blogging
This probably should have gone at the very negining of my blog, who am I? What do I do? Where have I come from? Where I am going?

I was borm into the stereotypical English middle class family. I was the younger of two children, I have an older sister. By and large the first eleven years of my life was 'normal'. Our parents were more concerned with how much money they could be making than us, this was the eighties remember - greed is good. Then they could show off to their friends, "look at what we've got". They had affairs behind each others back and pretended not to know. My sister and I were just given money to "shut us up". This was normal for the eighties in Britain. By and large though me and my sis got on with things, we both did well at school, had lots of friends, took part in just about every club going, etc - we were 'normal' middle class children.

Then just before my twelfth birthday my entire life fell apart and I feel I have never recovered from it. My mum ran away one day while I was at school. It felt as though the colour had gone from my life. Everyday was the same monotonous black and grey vista. There was no-one there to ask "how was your day at school today?", to cuddle me when I was sad, share in my joy when I was happy, do all the mummy things that a mum does. Dad was no use whatsoever, he was completely withdrawn, he basically shut down. He could not understand why she had left, the answer was obvious to us though, a decade and a half of physical abuse will stop anyone from loving you and eventually my sister and I were no longer enough to keep her there.

My sister had been starting to go off the rails before mum went. She started taking drugs, having vicious mood-swings, stopped going to school, disappearing for days at a time. She near enough moved out after mum went as well. With that the cupboards started to empty, there was no food in the house, the house itself was a mess, there was no structure or routine to my life. I was too young to deal with the problems that were facing me. Then the insomnia started. I couldn't sleep for more than an hour or so at a time and every time I woke up the first thing I would do is check that my Dad was still there. I was desperate to go and find my mum. She would be able to make everything alright.

Thats it for today. I might carry on tommorrow, I might not as it quite painful to tell. I will finish it eventually though.

Comments
on Jun 19, 2004
Wow, that must have being difficult to write, sounds like you've had it tough. I have questions I want to ask, but I'll ask if that is ok first, as it is a touchy subject, though I will say this, the person you are today, who was moulded by them events, that's a good person
on Jun 19, 2004
I have questions I want to ask


questions are cool. thats why I posted it to help me think through it

the person you are today, who was moulded by them events, that's a good person


cheers sally jacobs
on Jun 19, 2004
My questions, you realise you're going to be sorry. Did you find your Mum? What happened to your sister? Are you still close to your Dad? Have you forgiven them? I have more, but a few at a time

You're most welcome Exar Kuun
on Jun 19, 2004
Did you find your Mum?


yup. thats the next part of the story

What happened to your sister?


She now owns a couple of nightclubs is very rich and successful and has a beautiful little girl.

Are you still close to your Dad?


I see him a few times a year and we are still fairly close.

Have you forgiven them?


I'm not sure to be honest. I'm a simple complicated person.

on Jun 19, 2004
yup. thats the next part of the story


Ok as usual I'm gettin ahead of myself!

She now owns a couple of nightclubs is very rich and successful and has a beautiful little girl.


Aww how lovely, just shows there can be happy endings! I think I should leave you be now, and actually let you write an article, intead of being to nosey, sorry!
on Jun 19, 2004
intead of being to nosey, sorry!


Hey don't worry Sally, I'm just going to the shop then I am going to come back and wrtie my next blog
on Jun 19, 2004
Hehe, ok I'm staying up as I'm watching the truth about cats and dogs, sad case, yes I know, so I shall look forward to it!
on Jun 20, 2004
What an unfortunate life you have had, my first wife Mary abandoned my children too. To read more about this click the link.
Link

on Jun 20, 2004
What an unfortunate life you have had,


I don't think so Its all turned out OK in the end.
on Jun 20, 2004
I don't think so Its all turned out OK in the end.


Now that truly is the English spirit, good show dear boy!
on Jun 21, 2004
Hey Exar Kuun

Nice to read your story, even though it seems painful.

Im interested cause you took an interest in me. And Im interested cause for the pain that you have gone through ,you at least have to me anyhow shown some humanity, and that shows you have grown to be a true person.

I wanna thankyou on your blog for what you have done for me. It has helped me through a little difficult time in my life. Ive now got a little direction and some small focus. It might not seem alot but to me it really is.

Look forward to the rest of your story.